Chaos Parody
by Ianian58
Summary: Chapter 8. "A boxing match against the Zeus?" Percy questioned. "A boxing match against all the Olympians." Chaos corrected as she altered her combat forms from a ten feet tall man to an eight year old girl. "Why are you doing this?" "For the sake of the plot of course." she said. "You- you're causing nothing but Chaos." Percy hit himself. "I am Chaos though." "I know, just go."
1. Chapter 1

The being that exist but doesn't exist, the being that is called Chaos, the creator of the universe and of all, groaned, highly annoyed- then again, he can't be annoyed, since he doesn't exist, but in a way he does.

Why was the great, immortal, non-existent being yet existent, groaning?

Fanfiction, that is why. He scrolled down in the Percy Jackson Fanfiction, groaning more as he passed idiotic, annoying, contradicting, and simply highly dramatic stories that involved him. Chaos read one story;

_Percy disappeared from camp, due to his stupid brother somehow becoming famous after doing nothing, and EVERYONE forgets Percy, though impossible, it happened, so then Percy ran, thinking Annabeth who broke up with him and dated his totally dumb-brother-who-did-nothing-but-became-famous-which-appeared out of nowhere, was a whore. _

_Then, Percy by coincidence ran into Chaos, you know, the immortal non-existent but existent being which for some reason had a special army? And of course, he welcomed Percy as the leader of the force, and taught him all these cool powers, and gave him immortality! _

_Then, ten thousand years later, Olympus is still in America, the majority of the demi-gods are still somehow alive, Annabeth is still dating Percy's totally stupid arrogant brother somehow, even if ten thousand years have passed; then suddenly, Gaea, Kronos, every single of the God's enemy, and some other mythological creatures decided they can come back and appear with no explanation, and get an army into the camp that hasn't changed or grown in ten thousand years._

_Suddenly, the camp was about to lose, then, this mysterious figure and his army appeared, save the camp, own the enemy, and then it is revealed the mysterious figure is Percy. Annabeth runs towards him, hugs him, and kisses him, which would make her a bigger attention whore, and Percy is fine with it! _

_The end. _

Chaos cried as he couldn't understand the mere stupidity of the story. Then, he stopped.

"I must do something about this…..this is pure…."

"Insanity!" said Wacko12, the person who wrote the first Chaos story, which was incredibly good and actually plausible. Then he just disappeared.

"What can I do about such a horrible situation happening in Fanfiction….." Chaos thought, thinking, tapping his existent but non-existent feet in the void of darkness.

"I know! I'll write a fanfiction story, pointing out how bad and repeated stories involving me are!" he said, smiling, as he had thought of his great idea.

**And thus, this story is born. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: Chapter has swearing.**

Percy couldn't believe this happened. How could this happen? Seriously, how could have this happened? Percy meant all of _this. This _bull! It made no sense. The gods must be playing tricks on him, or he has been dreaming his entire life and is insane. Because this made no sense. So he- Percy, is the savior of Olympus, I mean really, the damn savior.

Saved the camp various times, saved the gods various times, stopped World War III between the gods, and who knows what else the fates had planned for him?

**SUDDEN CHANGE OF SCREEN**

Gaea was below the earth, sleeping. "Sooooon."

**SUDDEN CHANGE OF SCREEN BACK TO PERCY**

But _all of this bull _happened! What is _all of this bull_ you may ask?

His brother that's what. Yep. You heard him. His brother. Holy Zeus why? It made no sense, one minute he's the hero of Olympus. Then, his brother, who his father who was supposed to find his mother very special cheated on her- and his current wife with another woman because Mexico that's why! And so his brother, Ray, comes to Camp Half Blood!

Of course, Son of Poseidon's are generally nice, tolerable to other people, and forgiving by nature. By nature. Screw the god of DNA's or whatever there is Percy thought. His brother was the biggest douche bag in the world, arrogant and hits on every girl.

Then, all of a sudden, his father's Trident is stolen. BAM, just like that his brother Ray becomes popular, Annabeth breaks up on him suddenly growing a split personality becoming somewhat of a whore, Nico suddenly has interest spending his entire day in the Underworld, Thalia, eh nobody cares about her anyways.

His father and all the gods magically forget him. Because his brother recovered the trident of his father. Him? You know, stopped a Titan, not much really. Because recovering some Trident suddenly makes you great.

Percy groaned in the middle of the streets, he had somehow grown a large beard due to the lack of shaving, he was a hobo, he had thought of getting a job at McDonalds, but why do so? Percy was miserable enough; working at McDonalds didn't exactly raise your self-esteem.

Then he heard it. The footsteps. He could feel the energy bursting near him. Someone. Something was coming. It was strong. Powerful. He tensed. He didn't have Riptide, but he'd somehow get it back in the future. So he stood, to look intimidating he was shirtless and showed his abs. Hobo with abs and a beard, what could be more intimidating?

"Yo dawg." A powerful, deep _manly_ voice said.

In front of him, a _twelve _year old _girl._

"What the fuck is this shit?" Percy shouted in front of the girl, his hand pointing at her while he looked at the sky as if waiting an answer from Zeus. Honestly, a twelve year old girl with a voice of a buff thirty year old man. This world was crazy. Maybe he was though.

"Wow, watch the language nigger." The "girl" said crossing her arms as if offended. Percy stared at her for a second. Trying to process this all out somehow. It made no sense.

"What are you?"

"Look dawg I'm Chaos, you know, immortal being that created everything in existence and nothing in existence."

"Oh yeha I heard of you even though I'm not big on these kind of things." Percy said, somehow knowing about the complicated theory of Chaos. "But one question….why are you a girl?"

'Chaos's' eyes leaned on Percy.

"Nigger, I'm the creator of everything, can't I be what I want?"

"Well uh, sir, Chaos, sir, God, whatever, but it's kind of odd seeing the creator of everything as some twelve year old girl with the voice of a hardened war veteran and talks like some black stereotypical guy you'd see in movies."

Chaos looked at Percy. "Dawg you're not making sense. But fine."

Suddenly, Chaos switched form, now he was a tall, buff, wise-looking man.

"Better dawg?" he still said in his stereotypical black voice, Chaos swung his black cape which formed when he transformed, making him look quite spiffy.

"Uh yeha I guess." Percy said, almost stuttering still in confusion at the situation.

"Also quick question nigga, why did you trust me so quickly as to be the immortal being that made everything and made nothing? I could be some them creepy ass Titans or Giants or something."

Percy shrugged somehow even though in confusion. "I don't know, sixth sense."

"Seems legit." Chaos responded.

"Oh! I suddenly have playful personality!" Chaos shouted, which made Percy flinch how loud he screamed.

"Dawg which appearance do you like the most; this one?" Chaos began to ask, he threw back his arms pointing at his buff, wise looking appearance.

"Option 2;" he changed to his 12 year old girl appearance.

"Or option 3;" he suddenly turned into a beautiful looking girl with a seductive smile which only made Percy more confused at why the creator of the Universe would have such a personality, if he even had one because speaking in a way he created everything before nothing and thus is everything or something which would make him perfect in a sense.

"I uh like the first one more." Percy admitted, even though as man he was attracted to the third one more.

Chaos shrugged and changed to his older, wiser, buff appearance. And don't forget the cape! And then he/it began walking away which surprised Percy.

"Wait; where are you going?" Percy cried.

"Uhh, I don't know, Chaos stuff I guess." Chaos replied.

"Weren't you here to like offer me a position in some kind of personal army or something?" Percy asked. Chaos seemed very confused.

"Army? What weed you bro?"

"Well, I guess since you are the most powerful being in existence and non-existence you could maybe have an army?"

Chaos seemed to become more confused, even though Percy was more confused.

"Why would I want to have an army? I can just wipe out the existence of things I don't like. Easy as that."

"Oh." Percy said disappointed.

"But!" Chaos said suddenly and dramatically. Percy looked up surprise.

"For the sake of this parody's plot I will say there is a great threat out there and I have an army, and even though I have the power to make my own army, or get people like Hercules, Alien Beings, hell even Kronos, I'll recruit you in as well and make you the leader, and maybe in a thousand years all your friends will be alive because the gods gave free immortality to everyone and you can come back and kick this great threat's ass in an epic struggle!" Chaos said, excitedly.

"What?" Percy asked even more confused.

"Irregardless!" Chaos shouted, waving his hand. "We must leave at once!"

And bam. They were gone.

**Dear God, I regret the way Chaos speaks in this because I'll be some sort-of racist. Chaos protect me. You know all the stories in all the Chaos series have seriously underpowered Chaos. Some good reasons, some…ehhh bad guy comes up with technology to nullify Chaos's powers kind of bull. **

**I mean Chaos is some, great, powerful, unlimited being that created everything off nothing, and there is simply no time before Chaos, as he simply is. Mortals like us would never process the reason anyways! **

**Ah yes, female Chaos, the woman that saves Percy and pairs up with him. There's been a sudden increase of FemChaos/Percy. It's kind of funny. **

**Chaos's attitude in some stories have been amateurish. Chaos, speaking metaphorically, is a perfect **_**existence**_** with no flaws. Chaos would be the equivalent of God if it makes it easier to understand. And that's capital G God. **

**And then….the Chaos Army. I tolerate this part for the sake of the plot. I always do, but I thought I'd include that part for the sake of it. I just don't see Percy becoming the leader of it, but meh. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Minor (major) cuss storm.**

Chaos sat in her chair. She just sat there, it was odd with Percy standing a few feet behind _her, _she had improved though, she no longer spoke like a black stereotypical gangster. She has spoken normally for a few hours.

"Yo dawg, I love these cat pictures."

Never mind, Percy directly assumed. He stood in a dark box with an endless darknes, I mean really, endless darkness, there wasn't even any, after Chaos had taken him to this random room he had no idea what to do. So in response Percy began walking away, he walked for hours and hours, yet he ended back in the same place.

"Oh dog, this cat is so rad."

_Rad. _He had no idea who Chaos was stereotyping now.

Then she clicked on her computer to a different tab to some random blue site.

She groaned angrily, spinning in her chair three times before looking at Percy as she slumped in her chair with her hands crossed, clearly angry.

"I want candy."

"Uhhh, you can uhh make your own?" Percy suggested. The little girl Chaos seemed angry, but then she blinked.

"I can make my own candy!"

She then began munching, as if she had taken a big piece of food and chewed it, but she hadn't, she just began chewing out of the normal. "I hate people." she said. For a moment there was silence, Percy had to raise his eyebrows.

"Why?"

"Stupid, they keep making me look stupid." she said.

"They? Stupid? What?" Percy was now confused, maybe he was destined to be confused.

"Those stupid writers in Fanfiction- Jesus Christ!" the creator of the Universe and all such thing as matter then shouted angrily. "Why would they make me some eighteen year old girl? I mean really- creator of the Universe here; but _noooo,_" she began mocking, "I'm some defenseless eighteen year old girl whom made the Universe."

_Jesus Christ, the creator of the Universe saying that none the less. _Percy thought to himself.

Percy had no idea of what she spoke of. Maybe he would never.

The six year old then began changing in sizes, until _he _turned to an old sixty year old man with a beard.

"Man, beards are epic." sh- he said.

"Uhh, Chaos, no offense…" Percy began, "but what am I doing here?"

"That is a good question!" Chaos exclaimed as he stood up and stood in front of the startled Percy. "Why are you here?" he then began to ask, he himself confused as he scratched his beard. Percy practically fell on the ground as Chaos's very confident aura suddenly diminished and sat on his chair thinking.

He slowly turned to a six year old girl again. "Man, I can't believe I forgot."

_So…this is the creator of the Universe…_ Percy thought, Chaos immediately glared at him. _Like she read my mind…_ Chaos continued to glare at him. _Now her glares are creepy…_

All of a sudden- BOOM, there small stair steps in front of Percy, Chaos got off from her chair in the form of a six year old girl, climbed the stairs and slapped Percy in the face.

"You have no originality."

"What was that for?" Percy asked stepping back.

"I mean, really, no originality."

"What- you know what look, what am I doing here?" Percy quickly changed the subject.

"Well I'm obviously going to train you to be the general of my elite army of aliens, dinosaurs and space-ninjas." Chaos said in a very serious tone.

"Okay…so, when do I go back to camp?"

"In five years."

Percy blinked. "Five?"

"Yeha, why surprised?"

"Why five?"

In the blink of an eye she was once again in front of Percy, sending a slap right across the area.

"Five because five hundred and five thousands are a ridiculous amount, I can make you stronger than Zeus in a year and make you master the ability to eat planets in two."

"Eat planets?"

Chaos blinked and smiled goofily. "It's a cool technique I call it-"

"Okay that's pretty cool." Percy immediately interjected. Chas scoffed.

"So, uh, how do I come back? Some suit and a cape?" Percy guessed.

"The clothes your wearing right now." Chaos responded, Percy looked down, no longer looking like a hobo he had blue jeans and a short.

"Wait, just like this?"

"Yeha."

Percy blinked.

"I don't understand wouldn't I need to like hide my identity or-"

Once again Chaos was in the ladders and the six year old proceeded to slap Percy three times. "You idiot. Everyone knows you'll just reveal yourself to Annabeth in like the fith chapter, it's not even a mystery, every single story you're always the same guy who by miracle saves the camp and all that, everyone is like _ooh, who's that? _But it's obvious to the readers it's you."

Percy looked at Chaos seriously before his face became confused. "What?"

Chaos waved her hand in dismissal. "The chickens have no right to cross roads, let's begin your training."

….

"Oh, something's wrong." Chaos said.

"What do you mean?" Percy asked intrigued.

"It seems I can't get out…" Chaos slowly replied. Percy raised his eyebrows.

"Can't you just like imagine us out of here."

Chaos's thinking six year old face turned to that of realization. "I can just imagine us out of here."

_She's slow. _


	4. Chapter 4

Chaos squealed in the gray room with a fish tank that had- surprisingly, a dog.

Then the creator of the Universe in her seven year old form began giggling. Percy laid in a couch just groaning in pain.

"Chaos…I don't feel so well." he complained.

Chaos immediately looked away from her book to look at Percy. "Oh don't be a little girl," she said, "The training aftereffects will be fine in a while, stop complaining."

Percy groaned and fell from the couch, Chaos resumed reading her book, as she hugged her legs and read the book that was in the desk, she giggled again. "Oh Leo, you and your machinery."

"What?" Percy asked to Chaos's random statement.

Hours passed. Percy had finally gained enough energy to stand up, he was still a bit dizzy, but he then raised his arms in triumph as he had conquered the pain from the training he had undergone through. He was ready to fight the threat Chaos had spoken off and that he was destined to stop.

Then Chaos screamed in anger and threw the book she was reading to Percy's face.

Do you know how it feels to get a book thrown titled _The Mark of Athena, _or something like that, right in your face by the creator of the Universe?

Let Percy answer the question as he poses you with his second question. Have you ever gotten hit by a meteor that was being pushed by a giant, then a squid proceeding to suck your last drop of energy then tosses you away and some pro baseball players hit you with his bat?

If you have, that's how it feels like, but twice as much.

When the book touched Percy's cheek, he literally just flew to the nearby wall as he broke the sound barrier in half a second and then hit the wall, broke it, broke more similar gray walls, and then, inexplicably, all that in reverse, as he landed back in Chaos's room, the wall fixed as if all that had happened in reverse.

"Sorry." Chaos said, she puffed her cheeks as she crossed her tiny arms. "I'm just frustrated at that book."

That book was on fire, and surrounded by a small lighting cloud.

"Uhhh…."

"That ending is stupid." Chaos said, rolling in her chair and once again facing Percy. "But that's not the point; anyways you're done with your training." Chaos said, she stood on top of the random desk and was now at Percy's height. "But you must leave quickly the camp is under attack!"

"The camp?"

"Yes, Camp Half blood is being attacked by a Titan-Giant-Primordial-Mortal-Demigod Rebel Army."

"Wait- what?"

"Yep, every enemy the gods have faced in their entire history since you were born have come together from the dead of nothing and have now come to destroy the gods."

"Wow." Percy replied genuinely impressed.

Chaos then jumped. "Percy! You are all that stands in their way! Now go! Stop the Primordial-Titan-Giant-Demigod Rebel Army!"

Just like that, Percy Jackson was in Camp Half Blood, the demigods, five thousand years in the future, but now only five years because Chaos wanted to get this over with quickly, were in the verge of pure destruction. Yep, destruction. Had anybody died? Nope, there was just this huge and giant army on the verge of scaring the demi-gods.

What do you mean you ask?

The Camp barrier.

**The Giants-Titans-Primordial-Demigod Rebels Camp: **

"Hmm. We should have thought of this." Said Gaea.

"Well, at least I know how to break it, but none of you follow my ideas." Kronos said angrily.

"We should…" began to say the Primordial God of Indecisiveness. "but we shouldn't…" his voice trailed off.

"Why don't we like, cut the tree?" the brilliant strategist of the Demigod rebels asked, oblivious to the fact the barrier is in the other side.

"Why don't we just like, uhhh use magic?" somebody asked.

"I guess that makes sense…" Gaea agreed.

"Wait! We can use magic to break the barrier?!" Kronos questioned.

"Yeha didn't you know?" The demigod rebel leader asked. "I thought you didn't use it to surprise the Camp instead of going head-on."

"Well..uhhh of course, yes, taking the Camp head-on would have been stupid of us, so I used the Labyrinth to take them by surprise but I was uh- found out." Kronos said in a cracking voice.

**In camp: **

"What are we going to do?" somebody shouted in panick.

"I don't know, we could like evacuate the camp, and considering some of us demigods alone could match gods, we really no hope to beat these people." Said Annabeth hugging the arm of the other son of Poseidon that she was dating which was the reason she had cheated on Percy.

"Well, we could just you know, prepare, ask for the gods, you know, we're all pretty strong." Said one of the Roman demigods which for a reason were all in Camp Half Blood.

"Yeha we could use my lightning, Ray's –the son of Poseidon- power of the water, Thalia's powers, Nico's powers, Hazel powers, and we'd stand a good chance." Jason mentioned. People nodded agreeing.

"But he have no hope." Chaos whispered behind a tree in her eight year old form.

"But we have no hope!" somebody shouted. Then suddenly everybody began to run around like crazy fools, panicking, tripping and running into each other.

Then suddenly- hope.

"Look up in the air!" Chaos said now on top of the tree, her voice high and loud, everybody stopped and looked up in the air. A figure was falling at rapid pace. Jason Grace's eyes squinted.

"Is that…Percy?"

"Percy?"

"What?"

Then everybody got to the camp border to see Percy landing in the field.

All but the son of Poseidon named Ray who seemed confused. All alone now.

Chaos approached him.

"Well Marcus, it's time to say goodbye."

"What?" Ray asked confused. "Who are you? And my name isn't Marcus."

Chaos shrugged. "I really don't care Marcus, your just a character made in the imagination of everybody to make some certain characters OOC and make Percy leave the camp."

"OOC? Imagination? What?" Ray- now named Marcus by the creator of the Universe asked confused.

Chaos shrugged once more. "You're a really nice guy, I'm sure you didn't even mean to make everyone forget Percy and make him leave the camp."

"Well uhh sure….I mean, I got my personality from my dad, not like I'm a big jerk," said Ray slowly, "Annabeth came to me because she just did I didn't know much about the camp when I got here anyways."

"Yep, but you have to be a big jerk to steal Annabeth and activate the romantic subplot."

"What?"

"Exactly!" Chaos said raising her fist in the air. "You must have the traits to make Annabeth completely OOC which completely breaks Percy's mental state! For the sake of the story! But your mission has been done!"

"Mission?" Ray asked.

"Yep! Now you will either die here, never appear again inexplicably, or just go crazy turn on the gods blah blah and die."

"I wouldn't do that!" Ray defended himself.

"Yes you will, because you're a big jerk who hates Percy, everyone will suddenly hate you because of Percy reappearing and Annabeth will leave you for Percy."

Ray had to raise his eyebrow. "What? People won't hate me because Percy just came back, and Annabeth won't leave me just like that, she seemed hurt people like Thalia called her names, but if she just left me for Percy who came out of nowhere with odd powers I assume and saves the camp, then she would be a wh-"

Then Ray was gone.

"Goodbye Marcus." Said Chaos, her eyes were black, her voice a low, creepy whisper.


	5. Chapter 5

A large booming noise shook the Titan-Giant-Primordial-Demigod Rebel Camp. A worried look dawned on the face of Kronos, the earth-woman Gaea, represented by a woman dressed in a- wait for it- green dress, began shouting in panic. Sweat trickled down Father Time's face, the Demigod Rebel leader looked confused.

And the Primordial God of Indecisiveness…

"We should worry." the wise old god said. Then stopped. "But if we do worry…"

Still indecisive.

The massive army was in panic and confusion to the demigod that had come out of the sky and landed in the ground, Kronos then felt a shock. His eyes widened. _This power…where is it coming from? _

His head twisted to his fellow evildoers. "Quick! My fellow allies! We must retreat!"

"Retreat?" Gaea asked, angry, "Why should I take orders from you? We should stand and fight!"

"We demigods ain't taking orders from any of you!" the Demigod Rebel exclaimed. The Primordial God of Indecisiveness had no idea on what side to take. But suddenly, the entire army began arguing and bickering; because; how could such a diverse army bicker? Filled with demigods, monsters, dirt monsters, wheat monsters, primordial monsters, grass monsters; for some reason, this group couldn't get along and coordinate.

"Fools!" Kronos shouted. "I felt a massive power! It surpasses any of us, if we don't leave now, we'll get destroyed!" he argued, Gaea turned to face him.

Then suddenly, Percy Jackson was a few paces behind Kronos, he looked oddly confused as behind him, monsters, demigods, and other inanimate enemies panicked in chaos, accidentally spilling gasoline as the entire enemy camp was set on fire.

"Oh hey Kronos."

"Oh hey Percy." Kronos greeted, before continuing. "As I was saying, we must leave before-"

Kronos turned his head again. "Before- before…."

"Oh." Gaea stated.

"Hey what's wrong?" The Demigod Rebel suddenly asked before he noticed Percy Jackson. "Oh…"

"Oh yes." Chaos said sitting in a tall tree, watching as she dangled her eight year old legs and watched the scene unfold in binoculars.

_Damn it, _Kronos thought, the Titan of Time grimaced in shock. _Perseus Jackson has been reborn? And he has taken out and burned our entire army?! _Kronos wondered in shock without truly realizing his on army had burned itself.

_**But,**_ in the borders of the Camp the entire camp was waiting to stick themselves out and go greet Percy. Even though they had not seen Percy in a hundred years, or a dozen, or just a year, they all knew and recognized him fairly easily.

"Oh man it's Percy!"

"Percy is back!"

"Where's Ray?"

"You mean Marcus?"

"What's a Marcus?

"What?"

"What?"

"Oh yeha- Percy is back!"

Those were the initial exclamations of the sight of Percy Jackson. Annabeth Chase looked at Chiron. "Chiron, explain."

Chiron lifted his glasses momentarily. "Clearly, Percy Jackson is back."

"But why? In-fact, why did he disappear in the first place?" Annabeth wondered.

Nico, who was next to her, wondered out loud. "I remember the name Ray…or was it Marcus?"

Annabeth ignored him and Chiron responded. "Who knows, but he has clearly returned in hope of stopping the enemy army, of course he is probably being trained by Chaos, the creator of the Universe."

"That's right!" exclaimed the eight-year old Chaos; she sat on Thalia's tree eating an apple which she had taken out of her back pocket. And do note; she also took out hard-cover book from her back pocket a few minutes ago. Thalia awkwardly hugged herself for an unknown reason.

"It's Chaos!" a camper exclaimed!

"Oh my god, the creator of the universe!"

"Who?"

"What?"

Clearly, the camp had no idea who Chaos was. Chaos frowned, overdramatically she lowered her head. _"Nobody- nobody even knows me." _

Clarisse coughed loudly. "She- she just got depressed."

Suddenly, Chaos swung her arm and shouted; "It doesn't matter because I'm here to announce Percy saved you all!"

A loud scream. From Kronos who was screaming like a girl, followed by various cartoon bashing noises, as the enemy camp shook and an explosion in the background. The camp stared at the scenario.

"Oh, that's nice."

"Very nice thing Percy is doing for us."

"I concur."

"Nice guy."

The entire group mumbled and agreed at how great Percy was. Except Thalia, who stared back at Chaos. Chaos's eyes leaned at the Daughter of Zeus, who intently stared back. Chaos gulped. _She's n-not acting OOC…_

And thus, a plot twist.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Last time on Chaos Parody.**_

_"Percy, I have something to tell you." _

_"Yes Annabeth?" Percy asked every so curiously while playing a deluxe game of Chess. _

_"I'm pregnant, and Thalia's the father."_

_Percy gasped in surprise but closed it. "Wait, that's not even possible."_

_**And now, for the conclusion.**_

* * *

><p>"This is not fair!" Kronos screamed out loud. The rebel demigod commander picked his nose and looked at him.<p>

"It's completely fair." he said standing in a line.

"No. It. Is. Not. Percy Jackson is beating Gaea up with supernatural powers from the Creator of the Universe, and here we are, standing in line fighting him one on one." said Kronos as Gaea was seen high in the air probably Percy uper cutting her. Somehow she had a human body, that's another story though.

"Yeha, but fighting him all at once would be unfair." The Primordial God of Indecision reasoned. "Then again though, it would suit our advantage..."

"As the Primordial said, stop being such a whiner." the rebel Demigod said.

"I don't serve wine." Kronos snapped back. He took his scythe in his hand and then shouted; "Now step aside and let me hit Percy!"

"No! Kronos!" shouted a random Titan behind him. "If you do that, he'll put up powers over-"

"Under." the demigod rebel corrected.

"his sleeve and beat up all of you at once." the Titan finished.

Kronos raised his old eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'all of you', where are you going?"

The Titan's eyes shifted. "Have you seen the army? Percy Jackson quite literally struck us awe as he arrived as a meteor, everyone is practically running away, with Percy here, it's game over man, game over!" said the Titan and began to run away.

"No! Come back!"

"Stop wasting your breath." Gaea said, practically drenched in blood.

"You look..." the Demigod Rebel began which drew warning eyes from all the immortals. "_bloody_ amazing!

Just like that with a straight punch on the top of his head his hole body sunk on the ground as his head rolled back dead from Gaea's sudden attack.

"Gaea!" exclaimed the Primordial of Indecisiveness.

"What?" asked Mother Earth, slightly irritated.

"You killed him Mother." Kronos continued.

"So?"

"He was next in the line."

"Ah."

There was silence between the three immortals, tense eyes shifting around the room their hands quirky and active.

"Not it!"

"Not it!"

"Not i- goddamnit!" shouted Kronos last. He sighed dramatically. "At least I can try to beat him up with my scythe." And as Kronos walked onto the front, Gaea and the Primordial God of Indecisiveness they were met with a surprise, as not Percy Jackson stood, but it was the eight year old, creator of the Universe, Chaos.

"Oh hi." said the little girl as she suddenly sat on a tree dangling her legs.

"Wait, where's Percy?"

At this, the little girl began laughing. After a minute she continued to laugh in which the immortals looked worried and were debating if just to bypass her but she stopped. "You think Percy's going to be fighting the initial invading force when he comes back from his vacation for more than _two chapters? _Oh my! You truly are a funny bunch!"

"Are you saying we're not worth his time?!" Kronos exclaimed.

"Chapters?" Gaea questioned.

"I believe she's breaking the fourth all." The Primordial God of Indecisiveness said. "Or was it the fourth fall..."

"Fourth wall?" Gaea's eyes leaned on the eight year old girl. "What is this? Some kind of black magic?"

The small eyes of Chaos suddenly snapped, her voice drastically changing. "Yo! Don't go insulting my kind with those words!" she said as a fully adult, black, stereotypical male voice.

Kronos stood silent before responding. "You're not black."

Chaos then was struck back by Kronos' logic.

"But- but, I'm the creator of everything." she wept, "I was bl-" she began to sob "and then the dragon-" she sniffled, "but he was al-" and then began to outright cry, the immortals cringed in horror as Gaea gave an accusing look at her son.

"What?"

"You made her cry. You were never good with children.

"I only ate my children because they were going to overthrow me! Plus! I just pointed out she's not black!"

The Primordial God of Indecisiveness nodded his head approving of Kronos' words, but right after began shaking it in disapproval.

"Oh don't be an idiot." Gaea said as Kronos blinked annoyed and his mother went to care for Chaos.

"There, there dea-"

It was too quick to see, the little hand of the girl suddenly slipt around Gaea and with a booming shot to the left side of the head, Gaea was sent up in the air, and a after a moment was out of sight as a star shined in the air representing her.

"Mother!" Kronos cried. "Come down from there, Uranus is going to get mad, there's a reason he moved out you know!"

After saying that Kronos looked down at his opponent, a serious face around him as he studied his opponent. The creator of the Universe, my gods, what a monster. Suddenly she began to giggle.

His serious facade was broken as he snorted in surprise. "Why are you giggling?"

"You said you..." she stopped giggling with a wide grin, "Uranus."

Kronos stared at the creator of all with a blank face. He only blinked twice as he readied his scythe to cut her down. "You may be the creator of everything, but a Titan and a Primordial is a great deal to handle."

Chaos nodded. "You're right, this challenge will be tough."

_A few seconds later, back with Percy._

"Percy!" The entire crowd of the camp cheered his return a few people in the back discussing something along the line of Marcus. Another Son of Poseidon they believed existed, or was his name Felix? They were starting to forget.

"Look! In the sky! Two shining stars!"

"Isn't it day though?"

The crowed and Percy looked up in surprise, only to briefly see the Kronos, with a blank, angered face, and the Primordial God of Indecisiveness scratching his beard, as if thinking on reevaluating their current problem, but in another sudden second they were out of sight and turned into stars.

_Back with Chaos._

"Now." she cracked her fingers. "Anybody else?" she turned around to realize she was alone. And began crying. "Why am I always alone?" but she looked up in happiness noticing a pained groan in front of her.

"A body?" she questioned and stood up. "Social activity!"

As she stood on top of the near dead Demigod Rebel, he spoke. "_Nein, hugane le oiu men le qua."_

"Oh me damn it." Chaos groaned. "I find the only live person and find he can't even speak properly."

He shook his head. "No, you fool." he said in ghastly voice.

"Oh?" Chaos questioned in surprise due to his mysterious sounding voice. "A plot twist?"

"Yeeees, that was the tongue from my ancient planet of...Lariya, my race is a powerful one, far from your jurisdiction, Chaos, and my race shall come to...devour your planet, so prepare yourself." he said ghastly, and closed his eyes giving his final warning.

"You're lying."

The demigod opened his eyes and laughed. "Yeha, I just wanted to screw around."

"So how's the weather?" Chaos questioned.

The demigod, still laying the ground looked confused. "Well, uhh, I guess it's pretty cloudy-"

Suddenly he was stabbed by the small girl who sighed as if annoyed. "Humans never have good conversations." she looked at the tree.

"Oh! A tree!"

The tree began to run away from her.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Percy was back in his cabin<strong>_ he was alive once more. He had returned to the camp a hero, in fact, he's forgotten why he even left in the first place. Something about a guy and Annabeth, which makes no sense since Annabeth is dating him after all. Yes, they got back up together today, when he came back. For the first time in years.

He'd made steps again with everybody else, that means not including every potential romance character, ranging from Annabeth to Hermes _**(It's happened.)**_, he was once again friends with pretty much everybody back at camp.

Then, suddenly, Chaos who stood in his bed.

"Get off my bed, I'm going to sleep."

She shook her head. "That's no way to talk to your mentor."

He grumbled a number of words and began to lay on the floor preparing to sleep.

"I have a warning."

"Really? What's that?" Percy questioned.

"An invading force out of my jurisdiction, a war like race from another planet is invading Earth soon."

"This sounds like one of your stupid ideas." Percy replied.

_"Yes!"_ she quickly answered, "All, my idea, nobody else." she clarified. "None at all, all me." Percy raised his eyebrows at her tone but closed his eyes attempting to sleep. Chaos noticing Percy was tired decided to leave the cabin, she had business to deal with.

* * *

><p><strong>"Come on Thalia!"<strong>said Chaos holding a tray of chocolate cake. "Just be out-of-character for a week! Pleeeaaaaseeee!"

"For the last time, no!" Thalia replied trying to sleep. She was the only character that hadn't been acting completely out of character, meaning Chaos had to do something about it.

"Pleeeaaasseeee."

"No! Leave my cabin! And leave the cake!"

Chaos rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll grant you any single wish."

Thalia turned in her bunk bed as it garnered her attention. "Anything?"

Chaos nodded with a large grin.

"Fine, I wish for the story to end."

"Except that."

This gave Thalia a bemused expression. "For you to leave."

"I don't wanna."

Her amused expression became annoyed. "Fine, I won't wish for anything, you know what, the wishes are probably cursed or something too." she grumbled. "Plus you probably want me to make a totally out-of-character wish, like me gaining unlimited power or Percy falling in love with me."

"Done."

Thalia glared at Chaos. "What did you do?"

"Granted your wish."

Thalia stared coldly as the creator of all gulped and stood from her bed.

"What. Wish. Did. You Grant."

"The- the second one."

For a moment, there was only silence. And as the silence passed with Thalia glaring at Chaos, the little girl grew more confidence.

"Yeh- yeha, I did the wish, what are you going to do about it?" she asked with a somewhat confident smirk.

Thalia smiled. "Chaos, let's play a game."

"Wh-what game."

"Ever heard of Russian roulette?"

"Y-yes?"

"It's nothing like that then." Thalia explained. "It's called Hunters Roulette, the twist is the smallest person has to stand in the corner, while the other puts a blindfold on her face and shoots in the direction where the other person is. Also, the smallest person can't move."

"That won't threaten me!" Chaos exclaimed, "I'm immortal!"

Thalia's face suddenly grew closer. "Want to put that to the test?"

"...no." the little girl, scared for her life said.

"Then reverse the wish."

Chaos closed her eyes. "I can't! It's part of the plot now!"

Thalia blinked. "What?"

"Well, it is part of the plot, I can't just take it away- it's against the very foundation of writing, you must bear the pains of love I'm afraid that you'll...have...to...uh...ah." Chaos trailed off as Thalia continued to glare.

"I'll see what I can do."

**I've noticed Thalia doesn't get much attention in the Chaos story, unless she's a the main love interest in the story. Thalia's going to serve as practically the only person who can move around small eight year old Chaos. Also Percy's undying love interest. Along with Annabeth.**

**Also, usually there is this big fight in the beginning of the story when Percy comes back but it rarely lasts even two chapters. It's odd.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Last time on Chaos Parody:**

_"Thalia!" shouted Jason, his face covered in blood, shirt tattered, limping on his left leg, raising his golden sword at his kin he sneered. "You blasted traitor."_

_"I'm sorry Jason, but I have a secret to keep." Thalia replied._

_"Such a secret to kill your close friends?"_

_Thalia was silent. "I'm pregnant, and you're the mother." _

**Now, for the thrilling conclusion.**

* * *

><p>Chaos scratched her chin, thinking, legs crossed, Percy gave a curious glance. "What's wrong?"<p>

"A disturbance," she shook her head as if in disbelief.

"What's wrong?" he repeated the question.

"I can't believe it's a recap episode god damn mortals and they're pathetic rate of manga-anime conversion-"

"What?"

"You see as mortals, you have limits and-"

"No, no, not that, I mean what the hell are you talking about?"

Chaos stood for a moment, as if confused, then her eyes suddenly came to bright realization. "Percy, Percy, I got an idea, I got an idea!" she repeated this and then giggled, standing up she grabbed Riptide from the table nearby.

"Chaos, what are you doing?" the god-child that created all smiled in an innocent way.

"We need a training montage."

"What?"

"You never seen Rocky? What are you, not American?"

"What- no, I've seen Rocky-" Percy hastily replied only to get cut off once more.

"Then why are you questioning me?"

"I just want to know why we're having a montage."

"To train."

Percy was dead silent. "Why _to train_?"

Chaos waved her hand around. "Clearly the aliens that'll invade the planet soon enough will ally with the Russians meaning we should probably-"

"Wow, slow down, aliens?"

"Don't you remember what I told you last chapter?"

"Chapter?"

"I told you a war-species from outer space out of my jurisdiction as God will invade Earth, so uh, you need to prepare."

Percy only blinked before shouting. "This is bullshit, you can totally stop them can't you?"

Chaos only shrugged. "Innocent until proven guilty."

"Chaos, this kills people you know." Percy attempted to reason.

"You know what also kills people? Meteors." responded the small girl.

"Why are you-"

Suddenly the door opened, a girl, frantically scared, hopeless she shouted; "A meteor, a meteor, it's coming right to Earth!"

* * *

><p><strong>After Percy Jackson <strong>heroically flew to space and punched the meteor making it shatter to dust, Chaos went around her way to see Thalia. When Chaos found Thalia in her cabin alone, she looked pretty...rigged.

She was twitching nervously, her arms shaking. When Chaos entered the room her eyes hovered on the small girl and asked her the question; "Why have you not fixed my problem?" Chaos had made it so Thalia and Percy would fall in love together, of course it had been by accident, and then Thalia threatened to destroy Chaos, Chaos had been doing all she could.

"I'm doing all I can Thalia, it takes a while to fix this."

"You better do this Chaos because Percy's _green eyes and so messy black hair and strong, tall shoudlers-_ GOD DAMNIT."

She turned around and punched the wall, the wall literally collapsed on itself and so fell the bricks. Thalia immediately turned to Chaos. "You better fix this Chaos, if not," Thalia stopped, "you'll literally be worse than Hitler."

Chaos shrugged. "Well technically being nothing and all does make me Hitler, and by default also worst than Hitler so..." she just shrugged again.

Then suddenly the door opened, the girl from before panting look scared and breathless. "The Gods of Olympus want to fight Chaos."

* * *

><p><strong>For some reason, Chaos always takes so long to fix problems heshe created, especially if part of the main antagonist. I'll have fun enjoying Chaos vs the Olympians.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Last time on the Chaos Parody: **

**"If we can't cut the lines the bomb will blow!" Percy shouted, tears rolling down his face.**

**"But Percy! Let me do it, you're pregnant!" **

**"I have to do it Thalia! For America!" **

**Now, for the thrilling conclusion.**

It was all dark. A large arena, in the stadium more than one billion people stood in tight chairs, only the comfortable row where Percy was could anybody move comfortably without colliding with someone's elbow. In the middle of the ring, a large boxing ring laid, lights filled the arena as they went from left to right, the crowd's buzzing only started to become larger and larger.

"This is stupid." Nico muttered.

"Tell me about it." Thalia muttered back as her eyes momentarily stopped as he looked at him in a clearly romantic way, she was also drooling. But as if in a trance she shook her head. Percy oblivious to that had been looking at the pretty lights, thus held no idea that anybody held affection to him. "Why the hell are the Gods fighting Chaos?"

Percy shrugged as he held Annabeth's arm, who for whatever reason already loved each other 100 percent already, no remorse what so ever of what had happened between them at all. Nope, nothing about Annabeth abandoning him or Percy running away. None of that happened. Not even his half-brother Son of Poseidon who she had been dating. Who was he again? Jon? Oh well it didn't really matter.

"Oh, the match is about to begin!" said Jason from the upper stands.

The lights began to concentrate in the ring in which one person stood, Percy for whatever reason realized it was a giant man-lizard, pulling the microphone to his mouth, he began to speak. "Ahem." the crowd became quiet, tension filled the air. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, demigods, gods, and Titans in attendance!"

"Titans?"

Percy looked back two thousand rows up and saw a very tight spaced Kronos and other people began look in his general direction where it was.

"Oh my God it's Kronos!" shouted Frank Zheng.

"How the hell is Kronos even existing he shouldn't have been able to come back after he got beaten last time...and why the hell is he able to comeback after Chaos beat him? This is stupid, fucking shit is just goddamn not right at all." Thalia began to curse as in the background a large crowd charged to Kronos, attempting to beat the Titan of Time.

"Whoa Thalia, watch the language." Percy warned.

"And this! Chaos is fighting the Olympians! Is there any reason at all?"

"Of course there isn't, only to see Chaos beat up the Gods." Nico answered.

"But that...doesn't even make sense." Percy pointed out.

Nico shrugged. Kronos was getting beaten up by marshmallow men in the background, also by a numerous amount of old ladies.

The giant man-lizard continued it's announcement. "Ahem. Ladies and Gentlemen! This is the moment we've all been waiting for! Our main," the man lizard dramatically paused. "even, of the evening, 12 rounds of Godly Combat, for the Godly Heavyweight Championship of the World!"

The crowd began to cheer louder. Thalia was clawing her eyes out. "This. Makes. No. Sense."

Suddenly, explosions. Not only had Kronos been blasted off the roof, but the combatants appeared in the ring, in the red corner, stood Poseidon, Hades, Zeus and all the other Olympian Gods.

"First! In the red corner!" the crowd's cheer got noticeably larger. "They are one of the oldest immortal beings in history, they are the cream of the crop, throughout their Godly careers, they have not once lost their positions of supreme rulers of the world! Their record stands at 4,429 wins, and no defeats, 4,398 of their victories come via way of pulverization! Presenting, the current, and defending, Godly Heavyweight Championships of the World, The Olympians!"

"WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?" Thalia shouted to herself.

The crowd cheered loudly, only one side of the arenas filled with monsters and titans began to boos as they threw cans, only for a few second as Zeus turned and threw a giant thunderbolt away and destroyed half the stadium. Then in the blue corner, smoke appeared.

"Now! In the blue corner! She/He/It is the original, the ultimate! Throughout its career, it has created everything in the world, is literally everything in the world and the univserse, its record stands at 100,294 victories, with no defeats, all its victories coming via way of total obliteration; Chaos "Literally" Jesus!"

The crowd began to boo. Nico scratched his head.

"Is...Chaos' last name Jesus?"

Percy hit himself in his head. "No," in his head the little nine year old girl was the image in his head. "It's the nickname she wants." Coming out of the smokes, the now slightly bigger fourteen your old Chaos appeared still as a girl, and she was naked.

"Why is she naked?" Thalia asked, her face irked, annoyed, angry, slightly insane. The crowd continued to boo.

Her face palmed. "She probably forgot to put on her clothes." Chaos smiled as she waved at the hostile crowd which tried to throw cans. But as she did clothes randomly materialized around her body and then she pointed to the direction of the thrown can and a laser erupted from him, Percy's eyes were wide open as the temperature increased by forty degrees, a large nuclear explosion in which the laser was pointed at.

Suddenly the crowd didn't boo at all.

"Oh no! Hazel was sitting there!" Frank shouted, tears streaming down his face, his face in horror.

"The author probably forgot about her and/or dislikes her so probably wouldn't have written much about her anyways, don't worry, he or she will pair you with somebody eventually, can't leave someone without a love interest." Piper reasoned.

Frank then began to nod, no tears at all. "Oh yeha, good point."

_Ding ding! _

The bell rang and the two fighters (well, thirteen, it was twelve Olympians and Chaos.) went to the center of the rings, Chaos constantly hopping ten feet into the air to be able to match the eyes of the fifteen foot tall gods, her five foot tall body didn't really help at all. They both nodded as the referee Giant Man-Lizard told them their rules, and they both went back to their own corners.

In the Olympian corners, strategies were being thrown.

"I suggest we take the logical approach try to best the Creator of All, together, our strength alone I fear is naught against her." Athena advised.

Hades nodded. "Yes, Athena speaks reason." his eyes squinted to their fourteen year old female opponent. "We should not underestimate our opponent."

"You all speak logic." Zeus nodded. "BUT WE HAVE TO FIGHT HER ONE AT A TIME!"

"Brother!" Poseidon cried.

"One, at a time." 

"This puts us at a serious disadvantage-" Artemis answered.

"Yeha! I got this one!" Ares roared as he stood in the center of the ring.

"Alright then." Chaos began to stretch her neck. "I got to go quick, I want to read a book, I heard there is a huge character development plot in the story."

Nico shivered oddly. 

"Ha! I'll make sure to send you home! In a coffin!" Ares shouted as he extended his left hand. "Behold!" a sword began forming in the hand. "I, as Ares, God War and Ruin! Summon the greatest of all swords, in my _right hand_, come forth to me; Ligeriusmapertelkeinpalaredacs!"

The crowd gasped.

"What did he say?"

"I have no idea, it's like he came up with the name on the spot."

A giant, twenty foot sword formed in Ares left hand, and he continued laughing. "Are you afraid now; Chaos?!" 

Chaos blinked. "Alright, first of all, it's twenty feet tall. Are you sure you can even swing that thing correctly?"

"I- Uh-" 

"Do you know what kind of danger you can do with that thing? You could literally kill everybody in here!"

"But I-" Ares tried to explain.

"And what the hell?! You said, and I quote; _...summon the greatest of all swords, in my right hand..._why are you holding it with your left hand then?" 

"I-" the God of War began to sob. "I didn't mean to!" he then just...disappeared.

The crowd a silent.

"Did she just shame Ares into...quitting?" Nico asked.

"I'm not even surprised anymore." Thalia said laying in the back of her chair.

Yet Percy, who had been training with Chaos for years was standing, his mouth hanging. "Wow! I didn't know, you, Chaos, who trained me for years and made me ridiculously powerful, is so powerful!"

The Olympians Gods muttered. "So...who next...?" Zeus asked.

Chaos in the other side of the ring talked called from there. "Oh! Oh! Send Artemis! I'll make her fall in love for Percy!" 

Artemis from the other side of the ring just looked at her questioningly. "Why." it wasn't a question, it was a statement of confusion and honest curiosity, as if doubting there should even be a reason for Chaos' wish.

"Because just having Annabeth and Thalia-" Thalia twitched. "vying for Percy's heart? Oh boohoo, a love triangle, it's a boring romance story, we need to have at least seven women fall for the main character."

Artemis only stared at Chaos.

Athena spoke in. "Why would you do this."

"Of course to make the story interesting! Also because I can't find my favorite pairing! So what do you say Aremi..."

Artemis was already gone. "So I guess she didn't, huh." Chaos lowered her head and then sniffed.

"Oh no," Percy said, "she's crying."

Hades noticed it, the growing aura was just crazy scary. "Well brother," he said turning to Zeus. "I wish you best of luck."

"Yeha..." Apollo said. "I have to uh, ride the Sun Chariot too..."

"I should also uh...help Apollo ride the Sun Chariot as well..."

In a few seconds only Poseidon and Zeus remained.

"So..." Zeus casually said.

"Oh no, you're staying here with me, it wasn't my idea to challenge Chaos for no particular reason."

Zeus sighed as they both looked at Chaos. "You two are coming at once?" the two gods nodded at Chaos' question, to their reply she smiled.

Poseidon suddenly got confident. "No possible way you could defeat us! We are the two strongest gods this world has seen!"

Zeus was also roused by Poseidon's confidence. "Exactly! Lightning and Water! Our strength is unquestionable, we are supreme, yet we are family, we are brothers! Together we cannot be beat-"

"I'LL CRUSH YOU!"

Chaos rushed towards Zeus, growing fifteen feet in a second and then uppercut the King of the Gods who flew, broke the ceiling, and reached the stars. The crowd 'woahed', as Poseidon looked up, his brother nowhere near coming down from the uppercut and he looked back at Chaos. "Oh." And he disappeared.

**Always, always, the Gods, especially Zeus is all idiot and weak. The part that most irritates me is weak. Zeus is the KING of the Gods for a reason, and it's not because he's weak. I understand him being rash and all, but weak? I've seen people write how gods and demigods give super-Percy a tough fight but Percy just steamrolls Zeus, it's ridiculous. **

**And why not **_**just **_**a love triangle? You'd be surprised at the amount of harem stories we have. Especially in the Chaos story. Sometimes characters all together disappear or don't exist at all. **

**And of course, obligatory Gods vs Chaos, because oidsfjdsoifisjidoksajmdoksal.**


End file.
